


Finally Home

by Destiel



Category: Code Black (TV)
Genre: Episode Related, Fear, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 16:42:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9500546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiel/pseuds/Destiel
Summary: This is a one-shot I've written because I couldn't get the idea out of my head - the idea of Angus for ONCE acting really egoistic and just taking what he wants - but once realisation hits him he's unable to cope and deal with what he has done...Plays pretty much directly after the funeral of Vincent Savetti...





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nea/gifts).



**Finally Home**

 

Angus sat up on the bed – a bed that wasn’t his own but Mario’s – leaning back against the wall. He turned his head to the side, watching Mario’s sleeping form. He had to resist the urge to just touch him, but he didn’t want to wake him. Mario looked so normal, peaceful even. Not like he had just gone through the worst hours of his life, burying his father. Nothing remained of all the tears he had cried today, or the emotions he had done his best to keep in check during the funeral of Vincent Savetti. A funeral Mario initially hadn’t even wanted to attend. But Angus had convinced him otherwise. Because he knew Mario would have regretted it for the rest of his life if he hadn’t said good-bye to his father. A man that – so Mario had claimed time and time again – meant nothing to him. Yet, Angus had seen it written all over Mario’s face. The pain and hurt of losing him was still fresh, no matter how hard Mario tried to deny it. But Angus knew better. Because he knew Mario.

 

When Mario had handed Angus the keys to the Impala and asked him to bring him home, Angus hadn’t hesitated a moment. He had led Mario out of the cemetery and to his car, had watched him sit down in the passenger seat and then he had just broken down. Again. And all Angus could do was offer him a shoulder to cry on. He had never felt as helpless as these past couple of days, because whatever he did, it never felt like it was enough. It had taken a couple of minutes for Mario to calm down, but when he finally had, Angus had started the car and made his way over to Mario’s apartment.

 

He hadn’t expected the day to end like this, though. And he knew he shouldn’t have given into his desire, no matter how much he had wanted it. No matter what he felt for Mario. That didn’t make it right. Mario had been so vulnerable and looking at him now made Angus’s stomach turn into knots. He had taken advantage of him. He should _not_ have slept with him. He should have been stronger, but there was only so much resistance he could muster.

 

What if Mario regretted it already? What if crossing that line destroyed their friendship and everything they had built over the past couple of months?

 

For a moment there he really considered leaving. Maybe he should just get out of the bed, into his clothes and walk home and the next day they could pretend like nothing had ever happened. Just like the first time Mario had made a move on Angus the day Mario’s father had died. Only then Angus had been strong enough to say no. To do the right thing.

 

Closing his eyes the memories came flashing back into Angus’s mind.

 

_“Are you sure it’s okay to crash at your place?” Mario sounded insecure, and Angus hated to see him like that. “I really don’t wanna be a bother and if you want me to leave you can just say so. No hard feelings.” He leaned against the kitchen counter, looking like a picture of misery. “It’s just... I don’t think I wanna be alone right now.”_

_Letting out a sigh Angus turned around to face him. “You can stay for as long as you want. Really, Mario, you’re always welcome here.” He smiled at him, knowing way too well that Mario wouldn’t return the smile. But that was okay. At least he let Angus take care of him._

_“Why don’t you take a shower while I finish up my famous carbonara sauce and then we can eat?”_

_“I told you, I’m not hungry,” Mario gave back._

_“And I told you that you have to eat. And I’m gonna make sure you will.”_

_With gentle force, Angus grabbed Mario’s shoulders and maneuvered him towards his bathroom. “Believe me, you will feel so much better once you cleaned yourself up. And once you’ve gotten a bite of my spaghetti carbonara the appetite will come by itself.”_

Thankfully, Mario had listened to him. Only a few minutes later Angus had heard him turn on the water while he had gone on preparing dinner for them. Mario had been so broken and vulnerable and Angus knew going for what he wanted that very night would have been wrong. Just like it was today. But today he had found himself unable to stop himself when Mario had started kissing him. He couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened had he given in that night of their first kiss.

 

_Angus had just turned off the stove when he heard the door of his bathroom open and close, and then there were footsteps approaching him. He was about to turn around when he suddenly felt two arms wrap around his waist, felt Mario’s body leaning into his._

_“Thank you, Angus. For everything you’ve done for me. I don’t know what I would do without you.”_

_Angus’s breath got caught in his throat and his fingers clung to the edge of the stove, turning his knuckles white. His heart was pounding and he had no idea how to react to the sudden closeness. It wasn’t the first time he and Mario hugged – of course it wasn’t, he had held Mario’s crying and shaking body in his arms just two hours ago, before they had left the hospital – but this time was different._

_Slowly he turned around in Mario’s embrace, looking at him. He noticed immediately that Mario didn’t wear any clothes. The only thing covering his body was a white towel tied around his waist. Angus’s mouth felt dry and he had to swallow hard. “It’s okay, Mario, really. I told you I’m here for you, whatever you need.”_

_“Yeah. Yeah, I know,” Mario replied. “But people tend to just say these things without meaning them. But not you. You’re different. You’ve always been different. No matter how hard I’ve tried to push you away, you’re still here. Because you haven’t given up on me. You’re a good person. In fact, the best person I know.”_

_Suddenly, Mario’s face was much closer than Angus would have liked in this moment and then Mario’s lips were on his own. Before Angus had realized what was happening they were kissing like there was no tomorrow, wrapped in each other’s arms. For a minute there Angus lost himself in the sensations. Every touch felt like a bolt of electricity running through his body. It was intoxicating. He had dreamed of this, had wanted to be close to Mario for so long. Probably longer than he admitted to himself. All he wanted was to give in, let Mario have his way with him, but he couldn’t. Because it wasn’t right._

_So when he heard the sound of Mario’s towel landing on the floor and felt him even closer, he knew he had to stop this, stop him._

_Gently, he pulled back, grabbing Mario’s shoulders and pushing him away enough to look at him. “No, Mario, we can’t.”_

_“Yes, we can,” Mario disagreed. “I know that you want me.” His voice sounded broken suddenly. “You’re the only one that wants me.”_

_“You know that’s not true,” Angus gave back, both of his hands moving to touch Mario’s cheeks. “But you’re not yourself right now, and I can’t do this to you. To us.”_

_“You’re not doing anything,” Mario assured him. “And I told you I’m okay. I’m okay.”_

_“I know,” Angus replied gently, as he watched Mario fall apart again. New tears were welling up in his eyes and then a sob escaped his throat.._

_“He has no right to do this to me. He has no right to walk back into my life and then just die on me, right in front of my eyes.”_

_“Shhhh... Come here.” Angus said soothingly, and then – again – he pulled Mario into his arms, holding him while he rubbed small circles over his back. Only this time – unlike at the morgue – Mario didn’t resist._

As much as Angus had wanted him in this moment, he knew he had done the right thing by not going for it. He would have never forgiven himself had he taken advantage of Mario in his state of mind, and he was seriously questioning if sleeping with him tonight hadn’t been a mistake as well. It wasn’t for _him_ , that much was sure, but he had risked losing Mario over this just because he had been egoistic.

 

Shaking his head Angus suddenly couldn’t bear to be so close to Mario anymore. Swinging his legs out of the bed he grabbed his boxers from the floor and slid into them. With one last look at Mario, who was still sound asleep, he left his bedroom, closing the door as quietly as possible. Making his way to the kitchen, he opened the fridge and took out a bottle of water. He felt hot suddenly, sweaty even, so the cold liquid felt refreshing down his throat, but it wasn’t enough to cool him down. Putting the water on the counter he made his way to the balcony door. He opened it and walked out. The cool night air was tickling his skin and the floor was cold on his bare feet, but he didn’t freeze. He had no idea what time it was, neither did he care very much. Again, thoughts were flooding his mind.

 

Angus’s relationship with Mario had always been special. Different from any other friendship in his life. It hadn’t started with them clicking right away, heck, they hadn’t even gotten along very well at first. Angus would almost say that he hadn’t liked Mario at all. Thinking about it now – today – he wasn’t sure why he had even put up with him. Yes, they were both first-year residents at Angels Memorial, and for this reason alone they were forced to work together a lot, but that didn’t mean he had to get along with him outside of work. That didn’t mean he had to take him out for drinks and actually spend time with him when they weren’t at the hospital. Angus was glad, though, that he had taken the time to get to know Mario better, even though it hadn’t always been easy. Especially in the beginning Mario had tried to push him away every chance he got, but Angus hadn’t been willing to give up on him so easily. He was glad that he had pushed back and actually managed to get Mario to open up to him.

 

Angus hadn’t planned to fall in love with Mario, though. He hadn’t planned for his feelings to get so out of hand, hadn’t planned on ever acting on them. Mario was beyond out of his league – or so Angus thought – and he never expected to ever stand a chance with him. If he was completely honest with himself he had hoped that whatever stupid crush he had on him was just a phase, that things would get easier with the time, that at some point he would be able to move on from him. How wrong he had been. The last couple of hours proved that to him.

 

He would never be able to just forget what had happened between them, would never forget how complete he had felt the moment he and Mario had become one. They hadn’t just slept with each other, they had made love. Or at least that was how it had felt for Angus. Having Mario look at him with so much admiration, so much openness, had flooded Angus’s heart with all these feelings for his best friend. Feelings he hadn’t even been aware he was capable of. They were new and beautiful, but they were also scary. Yet, he had never wanted anyone more than he had wanted Mario. And maybe he never would ever again.

 

Closing his eyes Angus sucked in the cool night air, trying to clear his head, but all he could think about was the way Mario’s body had felt beneath his own, the way Mario had kissed him, the way Mario had moaned his name right before he had come. He could still feel Mario’s hands all over his skin, could taste his kisses in his mouth. He couldn’t help the little smile tugging at his lips when he touched the little red mark Mario had sucked into his skin right at his pulse point at his neck as if he had wanted to make sure everyone knew Angus was taken. Angus couldn’t help but wonder if that was Mario’s intention, if maybe, by some off-chance Mario liked him as well. He didn’t want to hope against all hope, but what if Mario _did_ feel the same for him?

 

It was definitely confusing, and once again Angus questioned his morality and the way things had gone down between them just a couple of hours ago.

 

_Angus handed Mario his car keys as soon as they had arrived at Mario’s apartment and gotten out of the vehicle, looking at him. “Do you want me to leave you alone?”_

_“No, please don’t go,” Mario replied right away, grabbing Angus’s arm as if he wanted to make sure Angus would_ really _stay. “If I’m all on my own right now, I’m gonna go crazy. I don’t even care what we do, as long as you’re here with me.”_

_Vincent Savetti’s death had taken a toll on Mario, Angus could tell, but he also knew that Mario would get through this. Because he most likely had gotten through worse. Only this time he had Angus by his side, and Angus would make sure that he was going to be okay._

_“Let’s get you upstairs. Maybe we can watch a movie or something like that,” Angus suggested, wrapping an arm around Mario’s shoulder and walking into the apartment building with him._

_Not even ten minutes later they were sitting side by side on the couch in Mario’s living room, watching some stupid comedy show Angus didn’t give a damn about. Mario was staring into the TV, but clearly not really watching. Angus was pretty sure he had no idea what was even on. He seemed so lost in his thoughts, completely absent-minded, and all Angus wanted to do was pull him out of his haze._

_“Want a beer?” he asked for that reason, not even getting any reaction from Mario. And so he gently nudged him with his shoulder. “Hey, Mario?”_

_“What? Oh, sorry, did you say anything?” Mario asked almost a little confused._

_“I just wanted to know if you’d like to have a beer,” Angus repeated. “Or something else? Anything, really. Just say the word and I’ll get it for you.”_

_A sad smile appeared on Mario’s lips. “You’ve done enough, Angus. I can never repay you for what you did for me over the past few days.”_

_“Mario,” Angus sighed. “You’re my friend, probably the best friend I’ve had in a long time. Of course I’m here for you no matter what. That’s no big deal.”_

_“It is for me,” Mario replied. “I’ve never had a friend like you. I never had someone I trusted as much as I trust you. You’re... Angus, you’re... everything and more and I just...” Biting his lower lip he looked at Angus. “I just want...”_

_“What do you want?” Angus asked gently, feeling Mario slide closer towards him on the couch._

_“You,” Mario whispered, leaning forward. “I want you, Angus. And I know you want me too...”_

_Before Angus had a chance to say anything, Mario had already captured his lips with his own. One of his hands came to rest on Angus’s cheek, gently caressing it, while the other grabbed Angus’s waist to pull him closer._

_It almost felt like the first time they had kissed, only that much more intense, and yet Angus knew he had to hit the brakes on him once more._

_“Mario, wait...” he murmured, pulling back enough to look at him._

_“Don’t you dare telling me that I don’t know what I’m doing, Angus. Or that I’m not ready,” Mario interrupted him. He almost sounded angry, and he probably had every right to be, because it was true. Angus_ had _tried to make this decision for him. For them._

_“If you don’t really want me, if all of this was just in my head and you feel nothing for me, that’s fine, but don’t use me as an excuse to get out of this. I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want this. I wanna be close to you, Angus. Please don’t turn me down because of some stupid white knight shit because you don’t think I’m capable of knowing what I’m doing, because it’s not true.” Grabbing one of Angus’s hands, Mario placed it on his chest, right above his heart. “What I feel in there right now is real, and I just want to be with you. Completely. Right now.”_

_Swallowing hard, Angus looked at him. “I want to be with you too,” he replied hoarsely. “God, you have no idea how much I want you.”_

_“Then stop being such an idiot about it and kiss me,” Mario requested, and this time Angus listened._

_He crashed their mouthes together almost desperately and allowed himself to just melt into this mindblowing kiss. He leaned back until he was laying on his back on the couch, Mario on top of him, and wrapped his arms around Mario’s firm body._

_Over and over again their lips met, and with every single kiss their desire for each other seemed to grow stronger. And the doubts in Angus’s head became quieter until they were gone completely. How could something that felt so right be wrong anyway?_

 

Walking towards the railing, Angus looked over the nightly skyline of Los Angeles. Taking a deep breath he just enjoyed the view. It was beautiful. So many different lights and the city was always so full of life, whether it was day or night. That was one of the things Angus loved so much about this city – his city – his hometown. That there were always people awake somewhere, that there was always something going on.

 

Suddenly he heard footsteps and when he turned around he saw Mario walking towards him, only wearing his boxer shorts. He had a blanket wrapped around his shoulders to keep himself warm. His hair was all tousled up and he looked very sleepy. As if he had just woken up, which was most likely the case.

 

“What are you doing out here?” he asked when he approached Angus, trying to cover both of them with the blanket. “You’re gonna catch a cold.”

 

Angus looked at him, gently pulling him towards him. “I don’t get sick that easy,” he assured him. “Why aren’t you in bed? I hope I didn’t wake you.”

 

Mario shook his head. “No, you didn’t. But when I reached out for you, you weren’t there. I thought...” Biting his bottom lip Mario let out a sigh. “I thought you had left.”

 

“I wouldn’t do that,” Angus promised. “I just... needed to clear my head.”

 

“Clear your head...” Mario repeated, an unreadable look on his face suddenly. “That sounds like you’re not okay with what happened between us.” He took a step back. “Do you regret sleeping with me?”

 

Angus wasn’t prepared for that question. He had no idea what to say in this moment, so he remained silent, trying to avoid Mario’s gaze.

 

“Oh my god, you _do_ regret it,” Mario blurted out, the hurt evident in his voice. “I should have known you don’t have any feelings for me, but I... I was so sure you and I had something special that I got stuck on the idea that this could turn into something real. Oh my god, I’m so stupid. You’re the only good thing I have left in my life and I went and destroyed it. Like I’m always destroying everything. I’m such an idiot,” Mario rambled on and on, and it took Angus a moment to process everything he had said.

 

Mario had already turned around, obviously about to walk back into his apartment when Angus finally reacted. Grabbing his arm he pulled him back, pulled him right into his arms.

 

“Let go of me,” Mario complained, struggling to get out of Angus’s grip, but Angus didn’t let go of him.

 

“No. Not until you have listened to me. You’re not going to just run away like you always do when things get difficult. You haven’t even given me the chance to say anything. Instead, you just try to take off without hearing me out.”

 

“What could you possibly say that makes any of this better?” Mario asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

Angus couldn’t help rolling his eyes.

 

“Maybe that you’re wrong? That I don’t regret sleeping with you.” His voice was gentle, and so was the look in his eyes.

 

“You don’t?” Mario asked, lifting his head.

 

“No, of course I don’t,” Angus confirmed. “Have you any idea how long I’ve wanted this? How long I wished for this to happen? And then you kissed me for the first time and all my dreams seemed to come true in that moment.”

 

“Why did you stop me then?” Mario asked. “You were the one that put a halt to it and kept me from going any further.”

 

“Because you weren’t ready. Just like I don’t think you are ready now. Look, Mario, I really like you.” Shaking his head, Angus let out a sigh. “No... like you doesn’t even begin to describe what I feel for you. I’m crazy for you and even though you sometimes drive me nuts with your stubbornness, there’s no one I want to be with more than you.”

 

“Then why do you make everything so complicated?” Mario’s hands sneaked around Angus’s neck to pull him closer towards him. “Complicating things is usually my job.” There was a small smile on his lips. “Why do you have to overthink everything? I want this, Angus. What do I have to do to prove to you that I know what I’m doing? I’m not a child, and it’s not like you forced yourself on me. If anything, I forced myself on you when I seduced you. I started this, not you. There’s nothing you have to feel guilty about.”

 

“Your father just died and you’re not in your right mind,” Angus murmured. “I feel like I’ve taken advantage of you.”

 

“You haven’t,” Mario replied. “I promise, you haven’t. And if there’s one good thing that resulted from my father’s death, it’s that I finally had the balls to go for something I’ve wanted for a long time. Because it made me realize that life can be short, and that I don’t wanna waste any more time with people that don’t mean anything to me. I want something real. Something that makes sense. _You_ make sense to me, Angus. _This_ makes sense.” He gestured between them. “I’ve never felt as safe as I feel when I’m with you. I’ve never been more myself than in your presence. You’ve always had my back and you helped me through the worst days of my life. That means everything to me. Please, Angus, just give me a chance. Give us a chance.”

 

Angus swallowed. Mario’s words touched him deeply. He hadn’t expected to hear these words from him. Not now, not ever. Yet, he knew they were true. He knew Mario meant every word he had just said. One look in his eyes confirmed how much he meant to Mario.

 

“What if you change your mind? I don’t think I could deal with it if in a week or in a month you realize that you were wrong. That I’m not the one you want?” Angus asked. “I mean... just look at you... You’re so far out of my league, really. You’re gorgeous, and sexy, and I’m just... me.”

 

“What the hell are you talking about? Why are you selling yourself so short?” Mario shook his head in disbelief. “Your father really pulled a number on you, didn’t he? First you thought you’re not capable of making Mike’s medical decisions and now you think you’re not good enough for me? What the hell, Angus?” Gently, he touched Angus’s face, looking deep into his eyes. It made Angus weak in the knees, because there was so much Mario told him with just one look.

 

“You’re the most awesome person I’ve ever met and you are sexy as hell, and anyone that says otherwise is lying and I’m gonna kick their ass, understood?” Mario smiled at him and Angus knew it was a smile that was reserved only for him. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was. He never had been in a serious relationship – mostly because whenever he fell in love, the other person never felt the same – but this time was different. Mario was basically surrendering his heart to him.

 

“There is never a guarantee,” Mario went on talking. “But I know what I want, and I want you. And I wanted you a week ago, and a month ago, and I don’t think I’m just gonna change my mind for whatever reason. I can assure you, we’re gonna have fights, I know that I’m gonna mess up, heck, we probably will both mess up at some point, but that’s also part of this journey. But I am ready for it. I am ready to give it a try if you are. You can’t let fear stop you from being happy, Angus.”

 

“What about our friendship? What happens if things don’t work out between us? We can’t just go back to being friends in this case, can we?” Angus asked.

 

“I don’t know,” Mario shrugged. “Maybe not right away, but I mean... I can talk to you about everything, and being with you like that doesn’t change that... as long as we are honest with each other, I think we have a real shot at this. Angus, you’re the person I wanna fall asleep next to and you’re the one I wanna wake up with.”

 

Pulling him down, Mario brought their foreheads together.

 

“That night I’ve spent at your place the day my father died... I’ve never felt so... at home... I might not have realized it when I first kissed you, but I definitely realized it that night. As long as you’re by my side nothing can hurt me. I love you, Angus Leighton, and I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life.”

 

Angus couldn’t help the smile appearing on his lips. Mario’s words made him feel happier than he had ever been and all he could do was lean down and kiss him.

 

“I love you too, Mario,” he confessed, pulling the blanket tighter around both of them when he felt a shiver run through Mario’s body. “So I better get you back to bed, because otherwise I’m not the one getting sick, you are.”

 

A smirk appeared on Mario’s lips.

 

“I hope you don’t expect to get any more sleep tonight.”

 

“I’m not?” Angus joked, but not hesitating when Mario grabbed his hand and pulled him inside.

 

“Not a chance.”

 

He let Mario guide him towards his bedroom, knowing way well where this was going. And this time he was sure they were both on the same page.

 

That was what happiness felt like.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Lori, who offered to look over the story, which made it much easier for me to post it... ;-) I'm not a native English Speaker, and I hope she found all the mistakes... XD Comments are always welcome - even if it's critique, because if it's worded right, it can definitely help me - and kudos are nice too... comments are nicer, though XD
> 
> I hope you had fun reading the story! =D


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